I’m not very photogenic, unless you think ghouls are attractive. There are maybe three pictures of me on the internet in which I don’t look dead.

In this case, the leopard print bra wasn’t helping.

I was mostly wearing 32AAs at the time, but a representative of the Felina and Jezebel lingerie brands assured me that this bra “fits very nice on skinny girls who don’t have much to work with.”

Uh huh…. no it doesn’t. Huge gaps in the cups, and the band gave me bruises.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: ow. my ribs.

Don’t write off Felina completely, though, because they do have some halfway decent bras that are not padded up to your neck and will not try to suffocate you.

But if you come across a pink leopard Felina push-up, keep your distance. Walk away. Do not mess with dangerous animals.