I know it’s been a while since I posted here. Please don’t ever think it’s because I don’t care about you all, because I absolutely do. The thing is, I’ve had trouble trying to figure out how to present myself since my body has changed. Whoever thought it would be such a difficult thing to explain why I am no longer a 32AA? And yet, it has been quite a struggle for me to get used to my physical self at a different size.
I guess I never imagined that I would ever have issues with my weight, apart from having been aware that most people thought I was too thin. Now, I find myself facing the opposite problem: I am, for the first time in my life, in the higher range of what is considered “average” weight for my height and bone structure.
It’s hard to get used to having curves. My breasts are still quite small, but below the waist I have filled out significantly. My current bra size is about a 32B, so obviously my 32AA bras no longer fit. It makes me sad sometimes, because I have some beautiful lingerie that is now too small for me to wear. Having said that, I believe I am at a healthy weight now. I think it is quite possible that I was too skinny in my size-zero days.
I’m just going to squeeze my eyes shut and post this, but I know I’ll be worried about what you all think. I don’t know why being thin was such a central component of my identity, but there it is… I’m not proud of it, and I never fully realized how important it was to me until I was ready to give it up.
Please realize that I am not judging any of you, no matter what your size. I know that you are all absolutely gorgeous. I hope you’ll join me and work as hard as you can to love yourself just as you are right now — body, mind and soul.
- Aerie Bras: 2012 Update Editor’s note: I am pleased to bring you this update...
- Erica of SophisticatedPair.com: “No Comparisons Needed” by Erica Windle, copyright November 2011. All rights reserved. A...